The school summer holidays can be a very difficult time for those parents who do not live together. The regular term time arrangements often run smoothly, with the six week holiday period leading to misunderstanding, confusion and disagreements.
Common disagreements that arise are:
- Whether the usual weekend pattern continues in the summer holiday period or is suspended;
- Handovers from parent to parent that were not needed (as the children had been collected from and dropped at school) suddenly have to be done in person;
- Is the handover to take place at the usual time for school finishing or at a different time in the day?
The best way to avoid these issues is to have a plan agreed well in advance, with specific details including collection and return time and location, already agreed and recorded in writing.
This isn’t always possible. You may find yourself with no agreement and the holidays very much in sight.
What Can Be Done at Short Notice?
1. Try and Agree Matters Amongst Yourselves
You can raise the issue with the other parent: can an arrangement be reached? If you have trouble discussing matters face to face or on the phone, send an email with your thoughts.
The more reasonable your suggestion looks, the more likely you will be able to reach an agreement quickly. An example might be if the children are to be with one parent from 10 am on a Saturday, ensure that the children spend time with the other parent from 10 am for their week too.
If you are putting forward an unusual suggestion, explain your reasons. For example, I want to go away for a few days with the children’s cousins and they are only available to do this on certain days/weeks.
If you are struggling to reach an agreement and do not want to try any of the options below, suggest sticking to the term time arrangements, with the parent who has the children overnight, keeping them until the time the school day would usually finish. This is not an ideal solution for the school holidays but is likely to be better than the stress for both parents and children if there is no agreement in place at all.
2. See a Mediator
If you can’t agree the arrangements with the other parent, you could contact a mediator to see if they can help with your discussions. Although you have to both attend an initial assessment meeting (to ensure that mediation is suitable for you both) many mediators have availability to see you within a couple of days. You may find that you only need one or two mediation sessions to reach an agreement: these can both be held in one week. Many mediators are part of the national mediation voucher scheme (as we are at Seddons) which is usually enough to pay for the first joint mediation session for you both. This is available regardless of your financial situation.
3. Speak to a Solicitor
A solicitor will be able to give you more ideas about ways to sort out the holidays, despite the holidays’ proximity. Sometimes this is the only way to deal with matters for many different reasons. At this late stage, if the other parent is particularly difficult, it may be too late for this year but you could try and make arrangements for all of the school holidays going forwards. If that is still unsuccessful, then it may be that an application will have to be made to court for future holiday periods.
If this sounds like your situation, the sooner you try and deal with the issues, the more chance you have of reaching a settlement, even at this late stage.